SONGS OF AN AMATEUR PHYSICIAN
On the Best Advice Oh, a little bit of bleach is good for you, And so is lying on a sunny beach, If you’re ravaged by the flu And you don’t know what to do There is nothing like a little bit of bleach. On those days when blooming health seems out of reach When your body’s racked with pain You will soon feel right as rain, And be in the pink again If you’ll just inject a little bit of bleach. So attend to what the learned doctors teach: When you’re feeling not quite right, And you hope to ease your plight, Bathe yourself in UV light And always take a little bit of bleach. Ode to a Miracle Drug Sweet hydroxychloroquine! Wondrous substance! Drug divine! Of thy virtues for the lung Mighty men have often sung. Tho’ no studies, double blind, Blaze thy splendors to mankind, I will all thy powers prove. Live with me, and be my love! That my airways may breathe free Shed thy healing balm on me. All thy blessings shall be mine, Sweet hydroxychloroquine! Summer’s Promise The warm caresses of the summer sun, When the humidity climbs very high, Announce that now disease’s course is run, Viruses all must melt away and die. Acclaim the miracle of nature’s round! Rejoice to feel the sunshine on your face!...
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